my husband on local dating sites?
Tasha asked:
I found out last night that my husband has been on local dating sites, and not just looking at the pictures like he has said in the past.
He is recieving messages from females in the bulk folder of our SHARED e-mail account from multiple sites. I opened the messages in the folder but that’s as far as you can go other than to sign in on the site, which I cannot do without a user name and password.
After he spent some time on the computer today and went back to work I decided to check for more and follow through with my plan to forward the e-mails to my e-mail to keep record of the sites and date I found it. He didn’t erase the bulk folder, he only deleted the messages from the dating sites that I had seen last night and earlier this morning. So, is he busted and do you think that deleting the e-mails is a sign that he is doing wrong???Also, last week he tried to hide alot of moneyfrom mefor his own personal use but never said what for and I’m not a spender so that wouldn’t be why.
Link to Blog: Dating on the Internet
I found out last night that my husband has been on local dating sites, and not just looking at the pictures like he has said in the past.
He is recieving messages from females in the bulk folder of our SHARED e-mail account from multiple sites. I opened the messages in the folder but that’s as far as you can go other than to sign in on the site, which I cannot do without a user name and password.
After he spent some time on the computer today and went back to work I decided to check for more and follow through with my plan to forward the e-mails to my e-mail to keep record of the sites and date I found it. He didn’t erase the bulk folder, he only deleted the messages from the dating sites that I had seen last night and earlier this morning. So, is he busted and do you think that deleting the e-mails is a sign that he is doing wrong???Also, last week he tried to hide alot of moneyfrom mefor his own personal use but never said what for and I’m not a spender so that wouldn’t be why.
Link to Blog: Dating on the Internet
June 30th, 2009 in
Marriage & Divorce | tags: Alot, Bulk Folder, Dating Sites, E Mail Account, Females, Personal Use, Recieving Messages, Spender
Link to Blog: Discussions on Romance
put a key logger on the computer and leave him alone. Then check after a few days you will have the password.
Link to Blog: Looking for Love on the Web
Tasha! He is a married man. He has no business going on, looking at or communicating with women on a Singles Dating Site! At all! Married is married. Why you put up with him “just looking” like he supposedly did in the past is beyond me. You deserver better than this guy. He is not being faithful. I think a lot of people would agree that if he’s writing to them, he’s either already met them or planning on meeting them. Sorry to say, but he’s not a faithful husband.
Link to Blog: Dating on the Internet
Honey, goodness…I was in a similar situation…and I ended a 3 1/2 year relationship just because he wrote “muah” to another girl….you wont be able to trust him again. Obviously he lied to you if he said he was just looking at the pictures (which would have pissed me off in the first place) because he is getting messages…i say confront him, make him get off the site, and if he refuses…there is your answer. Good luck
Link to Blog: Internet Dating
Sounds like he is cheating on you. Keeping record of the email is a good idea. You might want to let the dating site know that he is a married man (they can trace the email most likely). Though that might just drive him to get a secret email.
You need to sit down and talk to him about this. Go to counseling with him if you want to fight for your marriage.
Link to Blog: Dating on the Internet
If this were my husband. i would join the site, flirt with him and have him meet me……find out that way. You can use pictures that are not of you to put on the site….lure him in and catch him red handed that way.
Link to Blog: Looking for Love on the Web
you need to talk with your husband and he will ex plane to you what is going on.
Link to Blog: Online Dating
WTF…..? Your husband doesn’t have to be “busted” to be wrong. He has no business to be on dating sites if he is married to you! If he hasn’t done anything yet, the intent is there, otherwise he wouldn’t waist his time.
You should talk to him, tell him what you see, how it looks and demand an explanation. He should not be curious though!
On the other hand, I would join the site to see if I can learn more, and I would watch what he does.
This is not “oops, I accidentally met someone and oops, things just happened”. This is serous intent, and I wouldn’t want to share a life with a man like that.
Link to Blog: Looking for Romance
I have been in your situation before and am again right now. i know how you feel and what you are going through, there is nothing worse than that drop in your stomach.. the rereading of the emails you thought u just made up in your head.. But the truth is.. you will never be able to trust him again.. granted I was not married in my last serious relationship this happened in, but I was engaged and I could never trust him after that.. and called it off… He is married, and if he did it before whether it was “to look at pictures” or more… and he has the nerve to send it to ur shared email.. and deleted the ones u read last night… he knows what he is doing is wrong and you need to kick his *** to the curb.. They never stop!
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You can always set yourself up an account and make a date with him. Then when he shows up for the date he would be busted!! It might even make your marriage stronger.
Link to Blog: Online Dating
CALL HIM OUT !! Tell him what you suspect his conscience is bothering him if he feels he has to try to delete this from you or if you can put on the parental controls on, that way you will get a record of everything he does including chat rooms. It doesn’t make sense to keep this in to drive you crazy while he just fine.
Link to Blog: Dating on the Internet
Your husband is going onto dating sites!! And he has done this in the past as well? And you let him get away with this? Do you really think any married man would go onto a dating site just to look at pictures??!!
WAKE UP! He’s a creep and a cheat!
Link to Blog: Find Love on the Net
Your husband isn’t too bright huh? I’d insult him and tell him how dumb of a playa he is.
Link to Blog: Internet Dating
He IS on the dating site and that’s OK with YOU.
Man! Learn some self respect woman!
That is unacceptable!
Link to Blog: Online Dating
Enough investigating- you KNOW he is up to no good.
If you want to continue to be deceived and lied to then do nothing.
Otherwise call him on it- you don’t need hard evidence just tell him that you know what’s going on and you will not be lied to anymore. Look him strait in the eye and See what he has to say. I think he wants you to know.
Link to Blog: Discussions on Romance
hes a nasty *******. drop him
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go on the site and key in a profile that would describe him and see if he is there on the site. see if you can figure out his profile and see if he even has one. sometimes these sites DO send junk mail from “female” addresses to people who are merely curious. the difference is if he is paying for true access to the site. many sites send teaser, fake messages to anyone who creates a profile, but does not actually join the site to entice them to pay to join the site. so, keep quiet and keep checking. keep a record of what you see and try , haha, to figure out his password. mums the word til you know for sure.
Link to Blog: Looking for Romance
Girl im having the same exact issue with my husband. We seperated at the middle of nov because i found out he kept going to these sites after he said he stoped. I moved back in almost a month later and were trying to work on our marriage atm but i still have my doubts. I dont think your husband deleting the emails had anything to do with him thinking it was wrong it was so you would not find out. As for him hiding cash…mine did that to that way i would not find out about him sending the money orders off to these sites to keep his membership up. Just so you know even if you dont see it on your bank statment being taking out by the dating service does not mean he is not still doing it…cause most of them allow you to send money orders. I could tell you….”leave his @ss he dont deserve you” but that would not say alot about myself cause i moved back in and trying to work on things…i think you should keep a record of these…make copies keep all this one hand that way if you think you should leave followed by a divorce then you will have some ammo to use. Best of luck
Link to Blog: Discussions on Romance
This man is up to something. In my mind, any idiot who does this on a home computer is dying to get found out. That’s kind of like leaving motel receipts lying on the dresser for the wife to find. Duh. It’s an easy way to tell you he’s either cheating or thinking about cheating without really having to face you and actually ‘fess up to you.
Get all you can on paper in case you need to prove later that he has been up to something while you are married.
I’d find a computer geek to help you with this so that you can access his email.
He has NO business on a dating site. He gave all that up when he married you. Or did he???????/
Good luck.
Link to Blog: Online Dating
I feel sorry for the husband who has to visit dating sites to spice things up in his life. Maybe the wife should try to figure out what she could do to make things better instead of trying to catch him doing wrong. Maybe this could be a desperate cry for help from the husband.
Link to Blog: Wedding Plans
Yes he is busted. If there was nothing to be worried about he would not have deleted it. Furthermore, he is being extrememly disrespectful to you by having the nerve to do this on your home computer where you could possibly see it.
Any married man or woman who is on dating sites on the internet is not in a secure relationship as far as I am concerned.
I am divorced and refuse to participate in online dating. I do not trust people out there. I prefer to find a man the old fashion way.
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To me is sounds like he initially started going to these sites #1 - just for fun, but perhaps not intending to “cheat” #2 - because YOU ALLOWED HIM TO DO SO, so he thought it was okay. BUT–the problem with this is that being on such a site is like Eve offering Adam that poisonous apple…he might refuse it the first 2-3 times, but eventually he will prob give into these temptations. If he is bored in his current life, then that’s even more reason for him to be “curious” about these other women who are giving him all of this attention.
I’m really hoping it hasn’t gone as far as him meeting with these women as yet, but you can sure as hell bet that he’s corresponding with them through messages, etc. If I were you, I’d shut this crap down ASAP and let him know that he has NO BUSINESS being on these dumb sites that are for SINGLE people, and if he truly LOVES and RESPECTS you, then he will stop immediately…and if he shows any resistance at all, then you know he will not stop doing it and that he does not value your marriage.